Marriage is one of life’s most significant commitments. However, a troubling statistic often cited in Christian circles reveals that the divorce rate among Christians mirrors that of non-believers. This revelation raises profound questions about the readiness for marriage, particularly within a faith context. What truly prepares a person for the sacred covenant of marriage? The answer lies in cultivating an intimate relationship with God, which becomes the foundation for every aspect of marital success.
The alarming divorce rate among Christians has sparked debates and introspection. Marriage, as ordained by God, is meant to be a lifelong union symbolizing Christ’s relationship with the Church. When Christians, who should ideally approach marriage with a God-centered perspective, experience the same marital struggles as non-believers, it suggests a deeper issue. It’s not just about cultural influences or external pressures; it’s about the heart and spiritual readiness.
Redefining Readiness for Marriage
Most people define marriage readiness through practical and external factors such as financial stability, emotional maturity, and shared goals. While these are important, they are not the ultimate determinants of marital success. True readiness begins with an individual’s relationship with God. Here’s why:
A strong, intimate relationship with God aligns an individual’s priorities with His will. Ephesians 5:25-33 paints a picture of Christ’s sacrificial love for the Church, serving as the model for marital love. To emulate this, both spouses must first experience and understand God’s love in their personal lives. Without this alignment, the marriage may lack the spiritual foundation necessary to weather challenges.
Knowing one’s identity in Christ is essential before entering marriage. Many marriages falter because individuals seek fulfillment or validation from their spouse instead of God. When each partner understands they are already complete in Christ, the relationship becomes a union of two whole individuals rather than two halves trying to make a whole.
The Role of an Intimate Relationship with God
An intimate relationship with God is the cornerstone of marital readiness. This relationship shapes how individuals view themselves, their future spouse, and the institution of marriage itself. Here’s how it influences readiness:
1. Developing a Servant’s Heart
Marriage requires selflessness and a servant’s heart. Philippians 2:3-4 instructs believers to “do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.” A close relationship with God teaches individuals to embody this humility, enabling them to prioritize their spouse’s needs over their own.
Every marriage will encounter conflict. The ability to forgive is vital for maintaining unity and love. Colossians 3:13 says, “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Intimacy with God reminds believers of the grace they’ve received, empowering them to extend the same grace to their spouse.
3. Building Resilience Through Faith
Life’s trials and hardships don’t cease after marriage; in fact, they often intensify. A strong relationship with God equips individuals with the faith and resilience needed to navigate these challenges together. Couples grounded in faith turn to prayer and scripture during difficult times, finding strength in God rather than despairing.
Practical Steps to Prepare for Marriage
If intimacy with God is the secret to marital readiness, how can individuals cultivate this relationship? Here are some actionable steps:
Prayer is the lifeline of a believer’s relationship with God. Regular, intentional prayer fosters intimacy with the Creator and provides guidance for all aspects of life, including relationships. Before marriage, pray for wisdom, patience, and the ability to love selflessly.
2. Study Scripture on Marriage
The Bible offers profound insights into God’s design for marriage. Passages like Ephesians 5, 1 Corinthians 13, and Genesis 2:24 reveal God’s heart for this sacred union. Meditating on these scriptures helps shape a biblical understanding of marriage.
Proverbs 11:14 states, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” Engaging with mentors, pastors, or married couples who exhibit Godly marriages provides invaluable wisdom and accountability.
Before focusing on what a future spouse should bring to the table, work on becoming the best version of yourself. This includes addressing unresolved emotional wounds, cultivating self-discipline, and growing in character. Allow God to refine you so that you can bring your best self into the marriage.
Serving others develops humility and empathy, qualities essential for a successful marriage. Volunteering in your church or community teaches you to prioritize others and builds a servant’s heart.
Challenges to Cultivating Intimacy with God
Despite the importance of a relationship with God, many Christians struggle to prioritize it. Busyness, distractions, and a lack of discipline can hinder spiritual growth. Overcoming these challenges requires intentionality:
● Set Aside Quiet Time: Dedicate a specific time each day for prayer and Bible study.
● Join a Faith Community: Surround yourself with believers who encourage and challenge your faith journey.
● Fast and Pray: Fasting helps eliminate distractions and fosters a deeper focus on God.
Marriage as a Reflection of Christ and the Church
When approached with spiritual readiness, marriage becomes a powerful testimony of God’s love. A Christ-centered marriage reflects the sacrificial, unconditional love of Christ for His Church. It’s not just about two people coming together but about glorifying God through the union.
Addressing the Divorce Rate Among Christians
Reducing the divorce rate among Christians requires a paradigm shift in how marriage is approached and prepared for:
● Teach Biblical Marriage Principles: Churches must prioritize teaching about marriage from a biblical perspective rather than societal norms.
● Encourage Pre-Marital Counseling: Pre-marital counseling equips couples with the tools to navigate marriage successfully.
● Foster Accountability: Couples should have mentors or accountability partners who guide them through marital challenges.
When Christians divorce at rates equal to non-believers, it’s a wake-up call to reevaluate what it means to be ready for marriage. The true secret to readiness lies not in external factors but in an intimate relationship with God. This relationship transforms individuals, equipping them with the love, grace, and resilience needed for a successful marriage.
As believers, our marriages should be a testament to God’s design and glory. By prioritizing our relationship with Him, we lay a solid foundation for a lifelong union that reflects Christ’s love for the Church. The journey to marital readiness begins not at the altar but in the quiet moments of prayer, study, and surrender to God’s will.